I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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