Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
