Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
