I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize