Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
