I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
