We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize