Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
