The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
