I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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