Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
