you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
