She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
