Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
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