omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
