it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
