I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
