I hope mine doesn't look like that
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
