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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
