Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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