I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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