Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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