ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
