I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
