i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
