she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
