Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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