Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
