Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
