so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
