so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
