There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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