the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize