first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
