i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
