everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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