I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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