Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize