"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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