i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
