margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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