omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
