So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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