My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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