so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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