I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
