i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
