More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
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