How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
