my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
