She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize
