Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
