Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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