I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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