Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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