who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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