I wanna bring you to show and tell
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
