I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
