On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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