And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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