I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize